Why You Should Go To Marriage Counseling When Your Spouse Asks
Most marriage and family therapists would likely tell you that if one partner isn’t committed to the relationship then marriage counseling might not be that helpful. This is the same sentiment I shared in my previous post of “Will Marriage Counseling Save My Marriage?” and this is important to keep in mind when coming to marriage counseling. However, I have heard many scenarios where one partner asks the other partner to go to marriage counseling, and it’s dismissed. Often it’s dismissed because of the preconceived notions and myths of what marriage counseling is. It also seems that one partner does not think it’s necessary to go, which introduces the topic of why you should go to marriage counseling when your partner asks you to go.
Marriage counseling doesn’t mean you're headed for divorce.
If your partner asks you to go to marriage counseling you may have the worst-case scenario in mind: divorce. Marriage counseling is for all couples regardless of what stage they are at in their relationship. It doesn’t matter if your relationship is in crisis or if it’s functioning “good enough” marriage counseling can help you learn to communicate better Marriage counseling can also be about prevention. As life happens, people change and grow, and couples experience things together. It can be easy to lose touch, and marriage counseling can help you navigate these changes and stay strong as a couple. Marriage counseling isn’t a sign of weakness or failure but shows you want to be stronger as a couple.
Marriage counseling can be a place to have hard conversations.
Another important aspect to consider is most of us haven’t grown up in environments where we are in touch with our emotions nor do we know how to talk about them. We can pretend we don’t have emotions because they make us uncomfortable but that doesn’t change the fact that they exist, and they’re important. Emotions and being open about them are extremely important in a relationship. Marriage counseling can help you learn to talk about emotions and can provide a safe environment to address these. Every couple has been through difficult experiences together, and they are easy to brush under the rug. These experiences can impact the relationship and you may not know how to go back to them. Marriage counseling allows you to work through those experiences with a professional that’s trained to help you do so. Emotions aren’t the only part of marriage counseling but learning to address them really does matter.
There’s a reason why your partner wants to go to marriage counseling.
A relationship comprises both of you and if marriage counseling is important to one of you then it’s something to consider. You may have much higher marital satisfaction than your partner has and not even know it. Dismissing your partner’s request to go to marriage counseling is going to cause greater harm to the relationship instead of helping it. If you are at a point where your partner is asking you to go, this is a good opportunity to work on the relationship and get their perspective before things decline. Doing things in a relationship the same way you’ve always done might not be working for one of you anymore. Just because things are ok doesn’t mean there isn’t the potential to have a great relationship that brings much more meaning if you tried things differently.
A request to go to marriage counseling can be a sign they value the relationship
If your partner is asking you to go to marriage counseling it means they care about the relationship. The couples that go to counseling are the ones that value each other and want the relationship to get better. People don’t ask to go to marriage counseling when they’ve given up on the relationship. If you deny your partner’s request to go to marriage counseling, it will seem like the relationship doesn’t matter to you even if it does. It can be easy to start comparing yourself to other relationships that you feel are doing worse than you are and not see a purpose in going to counseling but this isn’t going to help your relationship. Marriage counseling can change your relationship for the better and it’s ok to ask for help.
If your partner invites you to marriage counseling, you should consider attending. It doesn’t you’re failing, and it doesn’t mean you should be worried. Accept it as an opportunity to grow closer together and make things better than they ever have. Remember, marriage counseling shows how committed you are to the relationship.
Ready to begin working with a couples therapist in Utah?
You don’t have to live feeling disconnected from your spouse all the time. You can feel safe, heard, and connected to your spouse again. This Utah County Counseling Clinic has a couples therapist specializing in marriage counseling. To begin marriage counseling, follow the steps below:
Book a free 15-minute phone consultation
Meet with a marriage and family therapist
Begin marriage counseling
Meet with an online therapist in Utah
I realize it’s difficult to carve out time from your busy schedule to make it to therapy. Maybe I am biased, but I also think therapy is incredibly valuable and is an investment that will impact your life. I want to offer you some convenience through online therapy in Utah. Online therapy is safe, effective, and just as helpful as in-person therapy.
Other Mental Health Services at Marcus Hunt Therapy
Marriage counseling isn’t the only therapy service provided by this Provo area counseling center. Other mental health services Marcus Hunt Therapy provides include premarital counseling, LDS marriage counseling, anxiety therapy, PTSD treatment, and therapy for men in Utah.
About the Author
Marcus Hunt is an associate marriage and family therapist at Marcus Hunt Therapy in Utah. Marcus loves working with couples who are dedicated to their marriage. The couples Marcus typically works with have become disconnected by grief, loss, and traumatic experiences. He enjoys teaching couples the communication skills to be able to learn to talk to each other again. Marcus received his bachelor’s degree from Utah Valley University in behavioral science and his masters degree in Marriage and Family Therapy from Abilene Christian University.