Marriage Counseling for Infertility
Experiencing infertility as a couple can feel incredibly isolating and overwhelming, making your dreams of starting a family feel unreachable. The hope of having a baby together may seem more distant with each passing day, leaving you feeling lost and uncertain about whether it will ever happen. Infertility can feel suffocating, making it feel like too much to handle at times. You may find yourself grappling with a mix of powerful emotions, from grief and sadness to frustration and anger. These feelings can become even more intense as you witness the impact of infertility on your relationship with your spouse. You’re noticing the stress of infertility leading to strain on your marriage. You’re not communicating as well. You feel disconnected and misunderstood by the person you love the most.
Infertility can cause problems in your relationships.
Infertility can impact your relationships in ways you didn't anticipate. Feelings of tension and stress feel like they are always there, and it's not just because of the weight of your own emotions. Family members can say things that make it worse. It feels like you're stressed out all the time. it's the added strain from well-meaning yet often insensitive remarks from family. When people ask about having kids, it's hard to know what to say. You're trying to handle everything on your own, especially when your partner doesn't know how to help.
Signs infertility is impacting your marriage:
Arguments or fights around having a baby or fertility treatments
Feeling less close with your spouse
Avoiding sexual intimacy because of the stress and pressure
Feeling guilty or to blame for infertility
Feeling alone in your infertility
Talking to other people about your struggles with infertility instead of your spouse
Feeling hopeless about having a baby and starting a family
Your marriage can be what you want it to be, and working with a couples therapist in Utah can help.
The financial stress of infertility treatments
As if infertility isn’t stressful enough there’s the added financial stress that comes with it. Infertility treatments are expensive and trying to figure out how to pay for them is overwhelming. The high costs that come with procedures like in vitro fertilization (IVF), intrauterine insemination (IUI), and fertility medications add up quickly creating a financial burden for you and your spouse. All this financial pressure leads to more anxiety, and frustration within the relationship, which may result in things feeling more tense between you and your spouse. Arguments and misunderstandings begin happening more often. You feel guilty and even resentful.
Infertility impacts your sexual relationship
Trying to have a baby can put a strain on your sex life. You have to time intercourse just right, which takes away the fun of being spontaneous. It's stressful feeling like you have to do it at a specific time to be able to get pregnant. Sometimes, the focus on getting pregnant can make sex feel like a chore instead of something that has helped you feel more connected to your spouse. This can lead to feeling anxious about performing well or feeling guilty or not good enough. As a result, you might not want to have sex as much, which can put a strain on your relationship with your partner, both emotionally and physically. When you see another pregnancy test, it feels disappointing and makes it challenging to try again.
Feeling like it’s all your fault because of your male infertility
For many men with symptoms of male infertility, it’s not just the physical issue that is hard to accept but it can feel like a hit to your masculinity and self-confidence. You feel like it’s all your fault and you’re letting your partner down because of your issues. As a man, it’s already hard to open up about what you’re feeling but you’re even more hesitant to reach out for help because of the embarrassment and the fear of being misunderstood. Getting help for male infertility can also be scary. You might have to go through tests and procedures that feel invasive and embarrassing.
Dealing with Another Failed IUI
Undergoing intrauterine insemination (IUI) as an infertility treatment can be emotionally difficult for couples. There’s so much hope and excitement for each cycle only to feel crushed when you see the negative pregnancy test. It’s hard to know if you keep throwing down money for an IUI or if you should be pursuing IVF, which sounds even more stressful. It’s hard to remain hopeful when nothing has worked to get pregnant so far.
Going through IVF treatment as a couple
The process of IVF is so physically and emotionally demanding. The physical discomfort of daily injections and frequent ultrasounds to the constantly being in limbo at every stage of the cycle is intense. Waiting for the results of fertilization, embryo quality, and PGT testing feels like you’re living in the Hunger Games. On top of all of this, is the high price that comes with IVF, all of which can make you feel depleted as a couple. You didn’t ask to get pregnant under dimmed fluorescent lighting with multiple people in the room.
Trying to understand Secondary Infertility
It can feel so confusing to try and wrap your head around how you were able to get pregnant and have a baby before but you can’t now. Getting pregnant the first time wasn’t difficult and you would never have imagined you would struggle to have more kids and add to your family. There can be so many ups and downs for you as a couple as you try and cope with secondary infertility in different ways which leads to overall tension between you as you both try and deal with your own feelings.
Experiencing another miscarriage
Finally seeing a positive pregnancy test, even hearing the heartbeat of your baby, and losing it is one of the most devastating experiences for a couple to go through. Hope feels shattered and immense pain is left behind. For some couples miscarriages keep happening and there is so much anxiety and fear left over. Multiple miscarriages feel like a recurring nightmare that will never end. It’s hard to connect with and confide in your spouse when you are both dealing with grief in your own ways.
Feeling invalidated by an Unexplained infertility diagnosis
Despite all of the fertility testing you have done, the results say there’s no reason you shouldn’t be able to get pregnant and this feels so frustrating and invalidating. Obviously, there is something wrong because otherwise, you wouldn’t keep getting negative pregnancy tests month after month. Not knowing the reason can make you feel crazy. It’s hard for you and your partner to keep trying when there are no answers as to why you can’t get pregnant.
Infertility impacts relationships but marriage counseling can help
Struggling to have a baby can put so much stress on a marriage. It can lead to unspoken tension between you and the one you love the most. Getting a negative pregnancy test over and over or loss after loss can lead to so much sadness and frustration as a couple. It might make it harder to talk to your spouse or feel the same closeness that you had before. Going to doctor's visits and doing infertility treatments takes up so much time and emotional energy and it’s hard to have anything left over for each other. Working with a couples therapist who specializes in infertility can help you get through this stressful time in your marriage. You can learn to talk to each other about the feelings that come up and even have a stronger marriage than you had before. Infertility can take so much from you but marriage counseling in Utah can make sure it doesn’t ruin your most important relationship.
Marcus Hunt Therapy’s Approach to Marriage Counseling for Infertility in Utah
There is so much sadness, frustration, and guilt that comes from infertility. There can even be resentment in a marriage, and you shouldn’t have to try and figure that all out on your own. My goal is to help you have a space for you and your spouse to let your guard down. I want to help you find ways to cope with all that infertility entails in a way that doesn’t get in the way of your relationships. I’m here to help you as a couple make the tough decisions that come along with infertility treatment. I know they can be some of the heaviest decisions you make and can impact your future. The medical providers that you see don’t always know how to help support you emotionally or don’t have the time to do so. What you desperately need is to be able to work through these challenges with support in a way that supports a healthy and happy marriage. I’m here to do that for you. You don’t have to go through this all on your own.
Begin marriage counseling for infertility in Utah
You don’t have to keep struggling with the challenges that come with infertility. You don’t have to deal with the tension and stress alone as a couple. Marriage counseling can help. This Utah Counseling Center has a couples therapist who specializes in marriage counseling for infertility. To begin therapy follow the steps below:
Meet with a marriage therapist
Start improving your relationship.
Common questions about marriage counseling for infertility
Can Infertility ruin a marriage?
While infertility puts stress on a marriage, it doesn’t mean it will ruin your relationship. The most important thing for a couple is to be able to manage the tension and stress infertility puts on marriage in effective ways. Infertility can bring up many different emotions and can make communicating with each other more difficult. The challenges of infertility are intense but you and your spouse can get through it with your relationship intact. Of course, it can feel like infertility is testing your marriage but you can support and understand each other through this challenge. Couples counseling can make a big impact for the better on your relationship.
How do couples cope with infertility?
When a couple is going through infertility, the truth is they may not be coping in the best ways and it’s understandable. Nobody prepares you on how to navigate your relationship when you are in the trenches of infertility. Infertility is a painful experience and we are not always the best version of ourselves when we are struggling. Healthy ways to cope with infertility as a couple would be learning to be open about your thoughts and feelings and talk about issues when they come up. Turning away from your spouse and shutting down will lead to more tension in the relationship. Working with a couples therapist in Utah can help support you in coping with infertility so you can grow closer as a couple rather than further away.
Do Couples Break Up Over Infertility?
Infertility can place a lot of stress on a relationship and unfortunately, some couples choose to end their relationship or get divorced. Dealing with infertility can show a couple that they have different goals and desires for the future. The emotional toll infertility takes on a relationship can change the way you talk to each other, lead to more arguments and fights, and impact sexual intimacy. If you are noticing that infertility is impacting these areas of your life and you are worried about your relationship, it’s not too late to get help through marriage therapy. Your relationship isn’t doomed to end just because you are struggling. Working with a marriage therapist who knows how to help couples get through infertility with a healthy marriage can save your relationship.
Why is infertility a major crisis for couples?
Infertility is a major crisis for couples because it impacts so many different parts of their lives. It can lead to a decline in both mental and emotional health. There are feelings of grief and sadness that come from not being able to grow your family without medical intervention. Dealing with infertility as a couple is stressful, overwhelming, and frustrating. Infertility comes with a loss of any control and it can feel like a hit to your self-esteem. Every step of the fertility process seems to come with anxiety when you don’t know what the outcome will be. The financial stress that comes with infertility also puts couples in crisis because most people don’t have to take out loans or go into credit card debt to have a baby. All of this can impact the couple's relationship and there is no shame in needing extra support because you didn’t ask for any of this. Marriage counseling can help.
What are the psychological effects of infertile couples?
The psychological effects of infertility on couples can hurt how they feel and how a couple gets along. Infertility leads to so many painful emotions and can feel devastating. A couple can be frustrated, or even angry, especially when they keep trying to have a baby without success. It can also make them more worried about what will happen next and how they'll afford fertility treatments. Feeling like they can't have a baby can really hurt their confidence and how they see themselves. This can lead to more fights and problems talking with each other, and they might even start to feel alone or misunderstood by friends and family. A couple might stop going to gatherings with friends or family because they want to avoid any conversations that might come up about starting a family Overall, infertility can make them feel like they've lost control over their lives, which can be painful to deal with.
What type of marriage counseling is best for infertility?
Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) is often seen as a top choice for marriage counseling, especially for couples facing infertility. EFT can help repair and strengthen the emotional bond in your relationship by helping you share your feelings openly and support each other. For couples dealing with infertility, EFT is helpful because it deals directly with the emotional toll of the situation. Working with an EFT therapist gives you a way to talk about your grief, frustration, and other emotions in a safe space. By understanding each other's feelings better, you can know how to support each other. EFT also teaches you better ways to talk and work through fertility-related issues. By improving the way they communicate, couples can address concerns and make decisions together more easily without shutting down or feeling misunderstood. This can help you feel more connected and understanding towards each other.
Can a relationship survive infertility?
Yes! Your relationship can survive infertility despite the challenges and stress you feel. Infertility can put significant strain on a relationship due to the emotional, financial, and physical stress it brings but that doesn't mean you can't manage all of it in healthy ways. Working with a couples therapist can make a world of difference in being able to help you talk to each other and be open without leaving feeling is understood. Learning healthy ways of communicating is an important skill to have in making sure your relationship is strong while you're in the thick of infertility. While infertility can put stress on your marriage, it can also help you grow closer than you ever were before.
Online Marriage Counseling in Utah
I get that amongst all the other appointments you are trying to fit into your schedule, trying to make it into the therapy office can be difficult. The good news is that I provide online therapy in Utah and see all my clients through telehealth. Online counseling is just as effective as in-person therapy but is much more convenient.
Online couples therapy means I work with clients all over the state of Utah including St. George, Cedar City, Provo, Salt lake City, Heber City, Logan, and more.
Start working with a couples therapist in Utah
You don’t have to navigate the challenges that come with infertility all on your own. Your relationship doesn’t have to take a hit because of the stress you’re trying to manage. Working with a couples therapist can help. Schedule a free 15-minute phone consultation today.