How EMDR Therapy Might Improve Your Relationship: Thoughts From A Couples Therapist
In the last post, “How Trauma Impacts A Relationship”, we talked about all things trauma when it comes to your relationship. What we didn’t get to yet is what could possibly help trauma’s influence on your relationship with your partner. Luckily there are answers to how to work through trauma so that you can have a healthier and happier relationship. Being able to work through trauma can make a significant positive impact on your marriage or relationship. It’s probably hard to really see how much it weighs on you and your relationship until you feel the weight of it all lifted.
One way of working through trauma is EMDR therapy. EMDR therapy is a highly recommended therapy for those who have experienced trauma or have symptoms of PTSD. In this post, we will be highlighting the following benefits of EMDR therapy on the relationship:
EMDR Therapy can help you feel safe in your relationship
EMDR Therapy can help you feel more in control of your emotions
EMDR Therapy can help you feel better about yourself
EMDR Therapy can help you feel more connected to your partner
What is EMDR therapy?
EMDR therapy is a type of trauma therapy that has been researched and shown to have evidence in reducing symptoms of PTSD. EMDR therapy is an individual therapy service that helps people reprocess their trauma in an efficient manner. It was first created for use with military veterans but has since been found to be effective with any population experiencing any form of trauma. EMDR involves the use of eye movements or bilateral stimulation to help people heal from their distress. Even when people don’t believe what they experienced was trauma or PTSD, EMDR helps them work through any negative experience they are having difficulty getting past. This therapy helps people with heightened anxiety or emotion around specific experiences or triggers. People have difficulty healing from their trauma when their symptoms are too overwhelming, and EMDR is effective.
EMDR therapy helps with:
-May help with physical symptoms related to negative events
-Decrease disturbance around past trauma
-Increase positive beliefs about self
-Improve overall anxiety
-Many other mental health symptoms
Is EMDR therapy something you do during a marriage counseling session?
EMDR is actually a therapy you would utilize in an individual counseling session. It is helpful when both partners have an individual therapist that is trained in EMDR therapy and are also going to couples counseling. You would work with your individual therapist on using EMDR therapy and attend couples counseling sessions to work through how it impacts your relationship.
How EMDR therapy can improve a relationship?
While EMDR therapy is individual therapy, it still impacts your relationship in positive ways, especially when you notice that past trauma is negatively impacting your relationship with your partner. When your trauma makes you feel guarded, and you don’t feel you can open up to your partner about what you are going through this can be a heavy burden to carry. It can also make you seem distant and apathetic to your partner. As a marriage and family therapist, I know how important being open about our emotions in our relationships is to the health and closeness of the relationship.
EMDR therapy can help you feel safe in your relationship
When people experience trauma, they often don’t feel safe in certain situations. Sometimes they end up not feeling safe in many situations and settings. As a result of trauma, people might not feel completely safe with their partners. Not feeling safe definitely can make it hard to let down your guard in a relationship. After EMDR, people report a greater sense of safety in situations in which they may have been hypervigilant. People who have experienced sexual abuse may not feel safe in a sexual relationship with their partner. EMDR can help people reprocess the event and recognize their partner is not a threat to them.
EMDR therapy can help you feel more in control of your emotions
Trauma impacts the part of the brain that controls emotions, and as a result, emotions don’t always feel very well managed. People find in their relationships they feel numb and apathetic or feel anxious and overwhelmed when problems arise. It can seem that these reactions are either too big or too small for the situation that arises. When people go through EMDR therapy they are often able to feel less overall anxiety and overwhelm and be able to respond more appropriately. When disagreements happen with their partners, they feel less threatened or distressed as a result of EMDR.
EMDR therapy can help you feel better about yourself
People that have experienced trauma report lower self-esteem than those who don’t experience trauma. Many times people believe they are to blame for the trauma that occurred. This is hard for people to get past when they feel like what happened is their fault, and if they would have done something differently the trauma would never have happened. When people feel negative about themselves, they are more likely to turn inward and engage less with their partners. Their partners may not know what is happening and don’t feel as close. EMDR therapy helps people improve their self-esteem and see the traumatic event from a different perspective without self-hatred.
EMDR therapy can help you connect with your partner
After people recover from PTSD, they feel they can engage in their relationships without being overwhelmed by negative symptoms. EMDR therapy helps people experience relief from depression, anxiety, nightmares, and guilt. People find that after they complete EMDR therapy, they feel better and more present with their partners. This improves the connection and overall relationship.
EMDR truly can be helpful for anyone. You don’t have to feel that you’ve experienced trauma, but we all have been through things that impact us, and not being bothered by them would be amazing. EMDR can help you work through the past relationships you’ve had that might be impacting your relationship now. It’s something to consider trying if you want to feel better.
Looking for an EMDR therapist located near Provo, Utah?
You don’t have to keep living in your trauma or let it come between your most important relationship. EMDR therapy can help you begin to take your life back. This Utah County Counseling Clinic has a trauma therapist specializing in EMDR therapy. To begin EMDR therapy, follow the steps below.
Sign up for a free 15-minute phone consultation to see if we are a good fit to work together.
Begin working on your trauma with an EMDR therapist
Begin trauma therapy
Online therapy in Utah
Other mental health services provided by Marcus Hunt Therapy
EMDR therapy isn’t the only mental health service provided at this Provo Area Counseling Center. Other services provided by Marcus Hunt Therapy include PTSD treatment, marriage counseling, LDS marriage counseling, premarital counseling, anxiety therapy, and therapy for men in Utah.