LDS Marriage Counseling: How It Helps LDS Couples
You want to work on your relationship with your spouse but are reluctant to go because you don’t want to go to a therapist that won’t understand the importance of your religion and your faith. You’ve heard that some therapists blame your problems on your religion, making you uncomfortable. It’s totally understandable why you’d feel this way. You want to protect what is sacred to you and feel like you can be open about your struggles without judgment for your beliefs.
Regardless of my own beliefs, I want to offer you an experience where you feel safe, and that you know I get you. I understand your perspective and am not here to persuade you that you shouldn’t believe what you believe. I want to be able to help you meet your goals and use your own beliefs and faiths to help you. I don’t want you to be hesitant to reach out for support in your marriage because you might have to compromise your beliefs. While marriage counseling does involve a shift in beliefs about yourself, your partner, and your relationship it doesn’t mean I have an agenda to change how you feel about your faith.
What is LDS marriage counseling?
LDS marriage counseling isn’t much different than typical marriage counseling. It does allow you to bring up your spiritual and religious beliefs without having to explain yourself, and how it works for you. As a therapist, I am not going to bring up your religious beliefs and what you should or shouldn’t be doing with them. If you bring them up then I can help you work on your beliefs. I am not a spiritual leader, and that’s not the type of therapy I use but this is a safe place to explore how your spirituality and religious beliefs impact your marriage.
Marriage counseling is about focusing on helping your relationship in the ways that you need. Marriage counseling focuses on developing skills to communicate with your spouse that are effective. It’s about helping you learn to overcome the experiences and barriers that you’ve had together as a couple. Most of all it’s about working on yourself just as much as it is working on things together as a couple. People are surprised at how much marriage counseling ends up being about personal improvement. That includes both spouses.
What are common issues LDS couples bring up in therapy?
LDS couples struggle with some of the same things that non-LDS couples experience. There are some common themes that bring LDS couples into therapy and here are just a few of them.
Porn Addiction
A significant area that LDS couples come to therapy for is when one spouse is struggling with porn addiction. This can be painful to the other spouse and feels like a betrayal. The spouse struggling with porn addiction feels shame for their problem and how it goes against their spiritual beliefs. Often times women who have spouses who struggle with porn addiction have body image issues and beliefs that if they were just thinner or prettier it would solve the porn addiction. What they may not realize is how much porn addiction is a way of coping and is an emotional experience for some rather than about sexual attraction. Marriage counseling can help address these areas, and how to overcome barriers. Marriage counseling alone doesn’t resolve porn addiction, and in fact, I highly recommend individual therapy in addition to the couple's work.
Faith transitions
LDS couples who started out their marriage getting married in the temple with the expectation that both spouses would continue to believe in these religious beliefs. However, at times one spouse changes what they feel and think about being LDS. Maybe the other spouse is still active in church and in their beliefs. There is hurt that surfaces because this was not what was expected when you were married. Mixed-faith marriages make it challenging for couples to know hot parent their children and how they do or don’t want religion to play a role. Marriage counseling can help you work through these challenges together and focus on your common ground and shared values.
Communication Problems
All couples experience a struggle in knowing how to communicate with each other. There are two individuals who experience different life experiences and grow up in different families that communicate differently. We might not naturally know how to communicate effectively and this causes issues in a marriage. Marriage therapy can help you learn how to share your feelings and experience in a more effective way.
Sexual Intimacy
Many LDS couples experience conflicted feelings about sexual intimacy. They have grown up in environments where they are taught not to think about sex or to keep themselves morally clean. However, these couples get married, and this suddenly is something that is ok and encouraged to do but it’s difficult to just adjust to this. These couples haven’t experienced sexuality without feeling guilty or ashamed so they haven’t explored their sexuality until marriage. Sex is viewed as a sacred part of your relationship with your spouse but these couples don’t necessarily know how to talk about it with their spouse. LDS marriage counseling can help you navigate these conversations and overcome barriers to sexual intimacy in your marriage.
Why should I go to LDS marriage counseling?
LDS marriage counseling might be for you if you are looking to work with a therapist that understands how your religious beliefs impact your relationship and can help you navigate those challenges. If you are invested in working on your marriage and are committed to being able to make your marriage the best version it could be then marriage counseling might be for you. If you want to work through how grief and trauma have impacted your relationship then LDS marriage counseling can help you achieve those goals.
How will LDS marriage counseling help?
LDS marriage counseling can help you overcome the challenges in your relationship. Whether you are in a mixed-faith marriage, struggling with porn addiction, want to learn to communicate better, or want to overcome sexual intimacy issues then therapy can help. Couples who feel like they have healthy marriages already are often surprised at how much they are able to focus on and improve in therapy.
How successful will LDS marriage counseling be?
The therapy models that are used in marriage counseling have been well-researched and shown to be 80 to 90 percent successful depending on the willingness of the couple. If you want a 100 percent success rate of therapy the factors include attending therapy every week and committing to it for at least 6 months. Couples that work on skills and practice what is talked about in therapy between sessions consistently are the ones that have the most success. Both spouses have to be completely committed and willing to work on themselves to be 100 percent successful.
Begin LDS marriage counseling in Utah
You can connect with your spouse and work through your struggles in your relationship. LDS marriage counseling can help you with a therapist that understands your religious beliefs. This Utah Counseling Practice has a marriage therapist specializing in LDS marriage counseling. To begin therapy follow the steps below:
Meet with a couples therapist in Utah
Start working on your marriage
Online Marriage Counseling in Utah
It can be difficult to coordinate your schedule to travel to and from a counseling appointment. I can also understand how when you live in rural parts of Utah you need the convenience of being able to connect with a therapist without spending hours in the car. This is why I offer online therapy in Utah. This allows us to work together on helping your marriage through a video platform. It’s safe and secure, and I swear is just as effective as in-person therapy.
Online counseling means I can work with you wherever you are in Utah. I work with couples in Logan, Salt Lake City, Heber City, Cedar City, St. George, and more.
Other mental health services in Utah
LDS marriage counseling isn’t the only mental health service provided by this Utah Counseling Practice. Other mental health services provided by Marcus Hunt Therapy include EMDR therapy, anxiety therapy, ADHD treatment, PTSD treatment, premarital counseling, and marriage counseling. Reach out today to see how I can help.
About the Author
Marcus Hunt is a marriage and family therapist at Marcus Hunt Therapy in Utah. He enjoys working with couples who want to have closer and happier relationships. Marcus believes many people aren’t modeled or taught healthy relationship skills or how to communicate. He also recognizes how life experiences impact the challenges that arise in a relationship. Marcus has a bachelors in behavioral science from Utah Valley University. He also holds a master's in marriage and family therapy. Marcus loves working with couples who are committed to each other and want to take their marriage to another level or heal from grief and trauma. When Marcus isn’t doing therapy, he enjoys watching 80’s sci-fi and exploring Utah with his wife.