5 Signs Your Relationship is in Trouble
It’s easy to start going through the motions in your relationship and not think twice about how things are going in a relationship. Many couples miss the signs of what makes a healthy relationship. Sometimes couples get comfortable and familiar with how their relationship is whether is healthy or not. As a couple, you can become desensitized to the way your relationship goes, or you may have blind spots. Healthy relationships are about more than just tolerating your spouse or partner. They are about shared meaning and purpose together. Healthy and happy couples rely on each other for emotional safety. When a relationship doesn’t have those needs met, it can lead to a relationship falling apart. It’s important to recognize the signs that your relationship might be headed there.
What are the signs my relationship is in trouble?
First, I don’t want you to panic when you read this and notice that these may be things you do. It might be an opportunity to look at your relationship and start to work on it. There are many tools to have a better relationship. This isn’t a comprehensive list of signs or symptoms of an unhealthy relationship but they are some of them to look out for.
1. You’re using name-calling with your partner
Calling your partner names will never be a healthy practice in a relationship. Labeling your partner as something negative is going to hurt the relationship, and they won’t feel safe with you. Not to mention that name-calling is a sign of emotional abuse. Name-calling in a relationship can erode a person’s self-esteem and is disrespectful to anyone let alone someone you love. I know that sometimes when you are emotionally overwhelmed and you snap you might not think about what you’re saying, and it just slips out. This still doesn’t make it ok, and it will still hurt our relationship. If you are prone to name-calling this is an opportunity to work on how you regulate and manage your own emotions without taking it out on your partner or being impacted by their mood.
2. You don’t enjoy spending time together
When you get to a point where you would rather spend time with any other than your spouse or you’d rather be alone than be with them that’s a sure sign your relationship is in trouble. If you need other people to be around to buffer your relationship with your partner, this is unhealthy. Your relationship with your spouse or your partner should be your most important relationship. It’s one that needs to be cultivated in order to be healthy. If you don’t like spending time together anymore, it’s time to address what’s gotten in the way of this.
3. You hold resentment and anger toward your partner
Every relationship goes through difficulties. It’s normal to have experiences where you might get angry or you’re hurt by your spouse. The difference is in how it’s addressed and how you handle your anger. When you continue to be angry, it turns to resentment. Resentment leads to focusing on your partner’s flaws and mistakes more than anything else. You no longer can see the positive in them, and you don’t appreciate their strengths. In order to heal a relationship of anger and resentment, a couple needs to work through what went wrong to drive the wedge in the relationship.
4. You blame each other when things go wrong
Blame is not helpful in any relationship, especially in an intimate relationship. When you are focusing on pointing fingers at your spouse, you’re causing issues in the relationship. This doesn’t mean your partner never makes a mistake or doesn’t do anything wrong but using blame is unhelpful. When you speak about how you feel and how it impacted you in a healthy way, you are more likely to get the results you are looking for. Blaming your partner will lead to a lack of trust and is something that leads to resentment in a relationship.
5. You try to control or manipulate your partner
Controlling and manipulating your partner might be something you don’t realize you are doing. This can be a sign of emotional abuse as well. However, even when you try to control situations or circumstances this is unhealthy for a relationship. Many people with anxiety utilize control as an anxiety management tool but it leads to a downfall in a relationship. If you are manipulating your partner to do what you want without consideration for how they feel and what they need, this is something that needs to be worked on because it’s incredibly harmful in a relationship.
Marriage counseling can help your relationship before it headed for trouble
You may have read this blog post and decided that your relationship doesn’t meet any of these areas, and if that’s the case I’m really happy for you. I often don’t work with people in marriage counseling who are already at this point. Instead, I’m most excited about working with couples that may have been through trauma together and have disconnected. I like working with couples in marriage and couples counseling who are committed to each other and are willing to do whatever it takes to have a closer relationship. The relationship of every couple could get better and everyone could learn more skills to communicate more effectively. If you are interested in deepening your relationship and improving on areas together, marriage counseling can help.
Begin working with a couples therapist in Utah
You can have a healthy and happy relationship with your partner. You can learn to talk to each other and feel understood and couples therapy can help. This Utah Counseling Center has a couples therapist specializing in marriage counseling. To begin therapy follow the steps below:
Meet with a marriage therapist
Start working on your relationship
Online Marriage counseling in Utah
It’s hard to coordinate your schedules when you’re busy with work, children, school, etc. I know it can be hard to prioritize therapy when it takes up so much time. I know how valuable marriage counseling is, and this is why I offer it online. I offer online therapy in Utah so you don’t have to take as much time out of your busy schedule to travel to see a therapist. It’s convenient and just as effective as in-person therapy. I enjoy online marriage counseling because it allows me to work with a couple in their environment.
Online counseling means I work with clients all over Utah including Provo, Cedar City, St. George, Heber City, Logan, Salt Lake City, and more.
Other mental health services provided by Marcus Hunt Therapy
Couples and Marriage Counseling isn’t the only counseling service offered at this Utah Counseling Clinic. Other mental health services offered by Marcus Hunt Therapy include premarital counseling, LDS marriage counseling, depression therapy, ADHD treatment, EMDR therapy, and more.
About the Author
Marcus Hunt is a marriage and family therapist at Marcus Hunt Therapy in Utah. Marcus has a master's degree in Marriage and Family Therapy. He also has a bachelor's degree in behavioral sciences from Utah Valley University. Marcus is excited to work with couples who are eager to work on creating better relationships. He enjoys working with both non-LDS and LDS couples in couples counseling. Marcus uses online therapy to help connect with couples in their own environment. He loves utilizing an emotionally focused therapy approach to helping couples connect with each other and their emotions to strengthen their relationship.