6 Books To Help Your Marriage From a Couples Therapist
Right now, you may be reading this blog post because you’re looking for help in your relationship but aren’t quite ready to make the step to jump into couples therapy. It’s ok not to be ready, and hope couples therapy will be something you will do at some point in your relationship. I want to provide these books for people not ready to start couples counseling, and for those who are ready but want more support to help in this process.
There are many things to talk about in a couples therapy session, and I find recommending books and reading throughout the process can be helpful in gaining awareness about yourself and your relationship. I’m not suggesting that these books are going to be the solution to your relationship struggles. They certainly will be helpful and may even be able to speed the process up. It’s true that the more work and effort you put into something, the better the results.
1.“Hold Me Tight”
The first book I would recommend is “Hold Me Tight” by Dr. Sue Johnson. Dr. Sue Johnson has been nicknamed “the best couples therapist in the world”. She has written this book on the importance of couples growing close and having their needs met in the relationship. This book focuses on helping couples utilize the science behind love rather than using advice to improve their relationship. This book is a good mix of science, stories, and exercises to use with your partner. “Hold Me Tight” is not just designed for couples in crisis but for couples who already have a good relationship but want to enhance it.
2. “Love Sense”
“Love Sense” is another book written by Dr. Sue Johnson. She dives further into the science behind the relationship of love. She shares research findings on love and how to not give up on it. The book examines how attachment and bonds play out in our relationships with our romantic partners. Bonding begins as babies and is important throughout a lifetime. Dr. Johnson shares findings on connection with other people and using a map to shape your relationship. This book is meant for everyone who wants a close and loving relationship.
3.“The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work
“The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work” is written by Dr. John Gottman, a relationship researcher. Dr. Gottman has studied over 3000 couples in his career and has identified what it is that makes relationships work. He created a small apartment in Seattle known as the “Love Lab” where he had couples stay for 24 hours and observe their interactions through cameras and heart rate monitors. Dr. Gottman has followed couples for years and as a result can now predict with a 90 percent accuracy what couples will stay together, and which won’t. This book outlines the principles of his research that make relationships work.
4.“The Five Love Languages
We all express ourselves differently. We all feel and receive love differently. “The 5 Love Languages” breaks down the 5 different ways of expressing ourselves to others. Because we all communicate love differently and have a preference of how we receive love, it’s important to understand this about ourselves and our partners. Understanding your partner’s love language, and speaking in this language creates a better relationship. This book breaks down each of the love languages and how to use them in your relationship.
5.“Come As You Are”
Sexual intimacy is an important topic in couple’s therapy. Sex is an important component of a relationship and is an area that many couples struggle with. Many couples want to address this but are hesitant to bring it up or what to do differently. “Come As You Are” is a book dedicated to learning more about your sexuality. This book uses research on how context can increase or decrease sexual desire. The author shares how to improve your sexual relationship with your partner.
6.“Attached”
“Attached” focuses on attachment styles and helps you recognize if you have: anxious attachment, avoidant attachment, or secure attachment. Attachment is an important principle in a relationship as a couple who relies and depends on one another. Our attachment style often is a result of how we grew up and were raised as children. Understanding your responses to your partner can increase your awareness of needs and improve your overall satisfaction in a relationship. This can help couples understand each other’s reaction to conflict with more compassion and how to cope effectively.
Looking for a couples therapist and located Near Provo, Utah?
If you are ready to work on your relationship and don’t know where to start, I can help. I know it’s not easy to reach out for support. It can feel vulnerable and uncomfortable. I promise to be as gentle and sensitive as possible. This Utah County Counseling Center has a couples therapist that can help. To begin therapy follow the steps below:
Schedule a free 15- minute phone consultation
Book a first session with a mental health expert
Begin marriage counseling
Other mental health services provided by Marcus Hunt Therapy
Marriage counseling isn’t the only service offered at this Provo Area Counseling Clinic. Other mental health services offered by Marcus Hunt Therapy include premarital counseling, LDS marriage counseling, anxiety therapy, therapy for men, EMDR and trauma therapy, and PTSD treatment.
About the Author
Marcus Hunt is a marriage and family therapist located in Utah County at Marcus Hunt Therapy. Marcus knows the importance of relationships and believes couples can create and develop the type of marriage they want through commitment and effort. He loves teaching couples how to connect and communicate in ways that make each spouse feel respected and heard. Marcus is a lover of emotionally focused therapy and utilizes it with the couples he works with.