What is my Attachment Style? Tips from an EFT Therapist in Utah
One of the most researched and effective forms of couples therapy is Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT). EFT is based upon something called attachment theory. In simple terms, it talks about how as babies how our parents or caregivers responded to us impacts how we respond in relationships later in life. Part of what helps marriages be successful or what causes conflict is the way we attach to our partners or significant others. Understanding and learning your attachment style can be a helpful part of navigating a healthy and happy relationship.
Why is attachment important?
Attachment is so important because it impacts our relationships. Not just our relationships with our significant other but with others. Having a secure and healthy attachment promotes safety, trust, and closeness. It’s helpful in knowing how to manage your own emotions in a relationship. People with secure attachments are more likely to be able to manage stress and anxiety in adulthood. Those with insecure attachment may be prone to more mental health problems and have greater relationship difficulty. Those with a secure attachment style are more likely to have satisfying and supportive relationships.
What are the four attachment styles?
These are the four main attachment styles in relationships:
Secure Attachment:
People with a secure attachment style feel comfortable being close to others and sharing their feelings with their partner. They are confident that their needs will be met and trust their partners to be there for them when needed.
Anxious-Preoccupied Attachment:
People with this attachment style often worry about being abandoned or rejected by their partners. They may become clingy or have a hard time trusting others.
Avoidant-Dismissive Attachment:
People with an avoidant-dismissive attachment style tend to keep others at a distance and may appear emotionally disinterested. They may have difficulty expressing their feelings or depending on others.
Fearful-Avoidant Attachment:
People with a fearful-avoidant attachment style struggle between a desire for both closeness and independence. They may feel overwhelmed or anxious in relationships. They may avoid close relationships altogether or become involved in conflicted relationships.
What is the most common attachment style?
It’s difficult to say but we know that 50-60 percent of the population has a Secure Attachment. These feel comfortable with emotional closeness and believe their partner is responsive and supportive. The other 40-50 percent of the population may have one of the three insecure attachment styles: anxious-preoccupied, avoidant-dismissive, or fearful-avoidant. It's important to know that even though secure attachment might be the most common, attachment styles can vary in different situations and relationships, and may change over time with experiences and self-growth.
Can attachment style change?
Yes, attachment style can change over time through new experiences, relationships, and the help of therapy. While attachments are often established early in life, they are not set in stone and can be modified through adult experiences and relationships. For example, a person with an insecure attachment style may become more secure through a supportive and responsive relationship with a partner, or through therapy that helps them explore and change negative patterns of relating to others.
We know that emotionally focused couples therapy can be effective in helping couples shift to more secure attachment styles. This type of therapy helps couples identify and understand their attachment patterns and work on improving their attachment to one another.
It's important to note that while change is possible, it will require effort and time,. You may still show some aspects of your original attachment style in certain situations or with certain people. However, creating a more secure attachment style can lead to greater well-being, stronger relationships, and improved mental health outcomes.
Emotionally focused couples therapy in Utah can help create a secure attachment
EFT can help you change the ways you interact with your significant other. Working with an EFT therapist has many benefits. It can help you feel more safe, secure, and trusting in your most important relationship in adulthood. This type of couples therapy can help you learn new communication skills and learn how to respond to each other’s needs. EFT can help you get past and heal from the past hurts that have occurred in the relationship that may be preventing closeness or causing resentment. You can learn to build a happy and healthy relationship with your partner.
Begin EFT Couples Therapy in Utah
You don’t have to keep feeling stuck in your relationship. You can learn to feel understood and feel connected again. EFT couples therapy can help. This Utah Counseling Clinic has a couples therapist specializing in couples and marriage counseling. To begin therapy follow the steps below:
Meet with an EFT therapist
Start improving your relationship
Online Couples Therapy in Utah
You don’t have to travel to a therapy session or stress about finding a way to find child care through online therapy in Utah. It’s safe, secure, and just as effective as in-person therapy. Online couples therapy is much more convenient and you get to show up as your authentic self in the comfort of your own home.
Online counseling also means I work with clients all over the state of Utah. I work with couples in St. George, Cedar City, Provo, Heber City, Salt Lake City, Logan, and more.
Other mental health services provided by Marcus Hunt Therapy
Couples and marriage counseling isn’t the only mental health service provided by this Utah Counseling Practice. Other mental health services provided by Marcus Hunt Therapy include EMDR therapy, premarital counseling, PTSD treatment, therapy for men, anxiety counseling, ADHD treatment, and more. Schedule a free 15-minute phone consultation to see how I can help.
About the Author
Marcus Hunt is a marriage and family therapist at Marcus Hunt Therapy near Provo, Utah, and through online therapy all throughout Utah. Marcus has a bachelor's degree in behavioral sciences from Utah Valley University in Orem, Utah. He also has a master's in marriage and family therapy. Marcus enjoys helping motivated couples work to have the type of relationship where they feel safe, secure, and trusting. He has extensive training in EFT therapy and knows how to help couples work through past experiences that may be causing conflict in their relationship.