Will Marriage Counseling Save My Marriage?
You might be wondering, “Will marriage counseling save my marriage?”
The answer is no and also yes.
Let’s talk about it.
The purpose of marriage counseling
Contrary to popular belief, as a marriage therapist, it’s not my job to try and save your marriage. Yes, I am committed to helping you develop a healthy relationship with a greater capacity to connect and communicate effectively with each other. However, I’m not here to save your marriage if one or both of you aren’t committed to it. In the end, regardless, it will actually be you and your partner who save your marriage. Marriage therapy takes active work from the couple
The key to success is your commitment to your marriage.
If you or your partner aren’t all into the relationship, then marriage counseling isn’t going to save it. If one or both partners already want to end the relationship or are already committed to divorce, then it’s not likely marriage counseling will save the relationship. In these scenarios, the marriage therapist does way more work than the couple. One of the guidelines for us therapists to practice is not to work harder than the client. I love to work alongside couples to help get them to where they want to be in the relationship. When couples aren’t all into their relationship, it ends up being a setting of attacking and pointing out each other’s flaws. This style isn’t a healthy way of communicating and doesn’t heal the relationship. Couples may also come into therapy hoping the therapist will side with them or point out what their partner is doing wrong.
Marriage counseling will save your marriage when you work for it.
Marriage therapy is especially effective at helping people improve their relationship when both partners really want to make their marriage work. Marriage therapy can save your marriage when you are willing to make the necessary change it takes to be a better partner. The secret to success is when both of the partners in the relationship are willing to do their own work accept, their own behaviors, and work to change it.
Divorce is always up to you
As your marriage therapist, I’m not here to tell you when or if to end your marriage. Only you can make that choice. If you’re coming to marriage therapy in hopes I will tell you that you should get a divorce, you’ll probably be disappointed. I’m also not going to take divorce off the table for you. Honestly, sometimes divorce is the best option for marriage but I can’t be the judge of that.
What I do want to say about divorce is that here in Utah, that’s a swear word. Couples insist that divorce isn’t an option despite being in an unhealthy marriage. These couples feel they have to stay in the relationship because their religious beliefs prevent it or fear they will be judged.
I want to validate that these big fears are difficult to sort through. People think that “divorce is the easy way out” when it actually is a grueling and heartbreaking process for a couple to go through. Marriage therapy can be a way to help YOU decide if that’s what’s best for you, but I won’t be convincing you either way. I find that couples who know they want to end the marriage but want to learn to communicate more effectively and manage to co-parent might also find working with a couples therapist to be a good option.
Marcus Hunt Therapy’s Approach to Marriage Counseling:
I work best with couples who are both committed to working hard and will do whatever it takes to mend the relationship. I am all into helping couples develop the skills necessary to communicate better. I want couples to reconnect and remember why they fell in love in the first place. Despite whatever heartache that has happened throughout the years, if you are all into healing and making it work, I will jump in with you. I help people dig deep into what they can each do to make the marriage better to heal the marriage. These conversations aren’t easy to have, but I try to be gentle but direct with you in the process.
Start marriage counseling inUtah
You don’t have to live disconnected from your spouse. You can have a happier and more fulfilled marriage. This Provo area counseling center has a relationship expert who specializes in marriage counseling. To begin your marriage counseling experience follow these steps:
Complete online forms and schedule the first session with a couples therapist
Begin marriage counseling
Other mental health services offered by Marcus Hunt Therapy
Marriage counseling isn’t the only service this Utah County Counseling Center provides. Other mental health services Marcus Hunt Therapy provides include therapy for men, anxiety therapy, PTSD treatment, EMDR and trauma therapy, LDS marriage counseling, and premarital counseling.
About the Author
Marcus Hunt is a marriage and family therapist at Marcus Hunt Therapy located near Provo, Utah. Marcus works with couples who have experienced trauma and grief resulting in relationship disconnection. Marcus is wildly passionate about bringing couples back together to have the kind of marriage they want to have. He recognizes that marriage is often the most important relationship people have and wants to make it the best one possible. Marcus has grown up in Utah County and recognizes the many different cultural factors that impact a marriage.