Therapy for Men: A Guide to Therapy
It probably wouldn’t shock anyone in America to know that men have difficulty connecting to their emotions. In fact, “connecting with emotions” is already a loaded statement. I don’t mean to make you dry heave in the first paragraph by talking about emotions, but I need to be clear that I’m not talking about becoming emotional and crying at the drop of a hat. I’m just talking about knowing your emotions and being able to label them. Emotions are something we all have, and we all need them because they give us information on how to act and help us find solutions. Men are taught not to feel any emotions. They are supposed to be calm, cool, and collected. If they can’t be that, they are allowed to show anger but not too much anger because that’s scary. This is a trap and unreasonable for men. This is setting them up to struggle with their mental health.
Despite how far we have come with debunking mental health myths, therapy also has a bad stigma. It’s even more difficult for men to go to therapy because it feels like a sign of weakness to reach out for help. It’s not serving anyone to keep reinforcing that this is true for men. Men deserve help. They deserve to work with someone who knows how to cope and collaborate to solve their problems. I find that men put off going to therapy for so long until they struggle with anxiety, depression, and general burnout. It’s time for men not to have to reach this point. Every man has a better experience if they could utilize therapy for men.
Is it ok for men to go to therapy?
Hell yeah, it’s ok! It’s more than ok; it’s normal and expected. I can’t speak for every therapist, but I can speak for myself when I say there’s never been a man to step into my office that I didn’t think deserved to be there. Men can be hesitant to seek therapy because they think the therapist will think they don’t have any problems worth seeking therapy for. Therapy is one place where as a man, you shouldn’t have to pretend to have it all together and to be ok. Men can work on many things in therapy that carry over to their lives and other relationships. They can find relief from porn addiction, PTSD symptoms, relationship problems, high-functioning anxiety, and more.
How do men benefit from therapy?
Men benefit from going to therapy by learning to manage their mental health healthily. They learn that they have needs and feelings that deserve attention and focus. Society has taught men that they can’t be down or scared or are somehow less than men. This is problematic because it’s inhumane to try and live this myth. Therapy for men helps men recognize their emotions and learn to cope with them in healthy ways. The primary way of men manages emotions is through numbing or shoving emotions down. This might work temporarily but eventually, those feelings bubble up to the surface and are managed through depression, anxiety, and PTSD. Therapy for men can help men work through past experiences and negative beliefs about themselves and learn how to cope effectively with their problems
Why are men hesitant to go to therapy?
As a guy, you are told that you don’t need therapy. Therapy is supposedly something only women go to. Your guy friends aren’t talking about their latest therapy session, so it just doesn’t seem normal. Men are hesitant to go to therapy because they think they will be seen as crazy and can’t handle their life. They feel weak and out of control if they were to go to therapy. Men assume they are the only one that feels this way, and everyone else has it all figured out when most of my clients feel the same way you do. Men tend to get viewed as either too emotional for a man or not emotional enough. The men I work with have been burned and struggle to trust anyone.
Why do men seek therapy?
Usually, the men I work with seek therapy because they want to show up for their family and friends better than they currently are. They are responding with irritability and frustration to the people they love the most, and they have no idea why. Men come to therapy because they are losing confidence in their ability to do well in work and school, and they can’t seem to manage their stress. They care about being successful in all parts of their life, but it seems like no matter how hard they try, they just can’t come up on top.
Should men go to male therapists?
Honestly, this is a personal preference. Many men feel more comfortable talking about deeper topics with females, so that is who they usually seek out as a therapist. Some men prefer to talk to another male because it feels like they’ll understand them and their experience more. Some men have had bad experiences with one gender, so they don’t want to see them as a therapist. It can be healing to have a male therapist if a male figure in your life has hurt you, but that doesn’t mean that’s who you have to seek. Whoever you feel the most comfortable with and treats your specific issues is most important.
What are men’s issues in therapy?
Men come to therapy for many different things, so if what you are struggling with isn’t on this list, that doesn’t mean it’s not valid. These are just some of the issues that I work with in therapy. This isn’t a reason not to seek therapy if you are experiencing something else and it’s negatively impacting your life.
PTSD symptoms in men
Some men recognize that what they are struggling with are symptoms of PTSD, but others just know they are having nightmares, feel on edge, are easily started, and are constantly watching their backs. They aren’t sure what they are experiencing, but they know it feels horrible. What they might be dealing with is PTSD. PTSD can result from any traumatic incident, no matter how big or small. We don’t get to choose how it impacts our brains. PTSD treatment or trauma therapy helps men learn to decrease their hypervigilance and work through the experiences impacting their lives.
Anxiety
Men don’t often use the word anxiety because they don’t think that’s what they have. They have a general feeling of nervousness about things, or they wake up in the night having a panic attack about their job, school, or being able to support their family. Men often experience physical symptoms of anxiety such as racing heart, nausea, muscle tension, shakiness, shortness of breath, etc. They might see their family doctor thinking something is wrong with them physically before they relate to having anxiety and needing support for their mental health. Men tend even to put off seeing their medical provider because they feel they need to tough it out and don’t want anyone to see them as weak.
Porn addiction
Viewing pornography is a common issue that men seek therapy for. They find that their porn use interferes with their relationship with their partner and their spiritual beliefs, and they feel like they can’t control it. They have increased depression and feel terrible about themselves due to their porn use. These men started viewing porn out of curiosity or by accident, and it grew to something that felt like it was out of their control. They want to stop viewing because it’s impacting their marriages, but they don’t feel they have the tools to stop. Men with porn addiction suffer from so much shame they don’t even know if they deserve help or can be helped.
High functioning depression
Many people haven’t heard of high-functioning depression before and don’t realize it might be something they are dealing with. Men who experience high-functioning depression experience insomnia or sleeping too much, low self-esteem, lack of motivation, and feeling down. The difference is that men who experience high-functioning depression don’t let on that this is how they feel. They still show up to work and school and seem to have it all figured out to everyone else, but inside they are really struggling. These men don’t know how to manage it and don’t feel like they can admit to let alone ask for help.
Relationship problems
I am a men’s therapist and a marriage therapist who works with couples to improve their marriages and relationships. Many people don’t realize they can improve their relationships by going to individual therapy and working on themselves. Unhappy marriages and strained relationships take two parties to create these results. If you aren’t in a position to go to marriage counseling or have gone in the past, but it didn’t yield the results you wanted, then maybe individual therapy can help you work on your relationship problems. You would be surprised at how many issues can be resolved by working on yourself.
Therapy for men can help
You don’t have to keep struggling even if you don’t feel like you are. As a man, I know you try to keep it all together, and you don’t feel like you can admit to things going wrong. You feel pressure to support your family and be everything everyone wants you to be. I know this weight can be crushing to have on your shoulders constantly. You might think this is a normal way to live, but it’s not healthy, and life can be far better than living like that. Therapy for men can help you work through your problems and find solutions with a mental health professional who knows how to collaborate to get you feeling better.
Start Therapy for Men in Utah
You don’t have to keep living, trying to keep it all together while you feel like you're falling apart. You can let your guard down, and therapy for men can help. This Utah Counseling Center has men’s therapist specializing in therapy for men. To begin counseling, follow the steps below:
Meet with a men’s therapist in Utah
Begin finding relief
Online Therapy in Utah
It’s not easy to reach out for help, especially when you are a guy. You have school, work, and a family to prioritize. It’s easy to push therapy aside as something you can’t do right now. I know how much of a difference therapy can make in your life. I want to make it convenient and accessible for you to receive therapy. This is why I offer online therapy in Utah. Online counseling is safe, secure, and convenient. It involves meeting with a therapist face-to-face on a video platform similar to facetime.
I work with men all over the state of Utah, including Logan, St. George, Heber, Cedar City, Salt Lake City, and more.
Other mental health services in Utah
Therapy for men isn’t the only counseling service provided at this Northern Utah Counseling Clinic. Other mental health services Marcus Hunt Therapy provides include PTSD treatment, trauma therapy, anxiety therapy, depression therapy, LDS marriage counseling, marriage counseling, and premarital counseling.
About the Author
Marcus Hunt is an associate marriage and family therapist at Marcus Hunt Therapy in Utah. He provides therapy for men and feels confident in working with men’s issues. Marcus wants men to be able to improve their mental health despite the stigma that men aren’t supposed to struggle. Marcus has a bachelor's degree in behavioral sciences from Utah Valley University. He also has a master's in marriage and family therapy. Marcus is from Salem, Utah, and understands the challenges men face in Utah culture and wants to help them break free of trying to fit into the Utah mold. When Marcus isn’t in therapy, he is a full-time foodie and checking out the latest good restaurants in Utah, but none of them come close to his one true love of China Wok in Spanish Fork.