8 Things To Gain From Seeing A Men’s Therapist
Sometimes it feels like we aren’t talking about men’s mental health enough. To be honest we aren’t talking about mental health as much as we need to in general. We are making strides in this area but there is room for improvement especially when it comes to men. Men are often hesitant to see a mental health professional because they fear being seen as weak or crazy. Men aren’t used to sharing their problems and struggles. Men end up feeling terrible about themselves because they feel like they should have it all figured out. Unfortunately, nobody has it all figured out and that’s actually ok. We all need to rely on each other for help even as a man.
I am a men’s therapist but I am also a man too. I’ve experienced what it’s like to be male in this world. I’m not saying our life is harder than anyone else's and am aware there is a lot of privilege in this world as a man. What is an issue for men is that we struggle to be able to connect with our own feelings and with others because we are supposed to “dry up” and “rub some dirt on it” or “walk it off”. None of these things end up benefiting men and in fact perpetuate an unhealthy cycle. I want to help men get the support they need for their mental health. Getting mentally healthy will help your relationships and make the world a better place for everyone. I know that’s a pretty bold statement but I truly believe if everyone worked on their mental health especially men things would be a lot better.
What can you gain from seeing a men’s therapist?
There are plenty of things you can gain from going to therapy and working with a men’s therapist. I couldn’t begin to name them all but here are some of them to consider.
Understanding the uniqueness of the male experience
When you don’t know any other way of living it’s hard to think there are other options. As a man you are used to living, behaving, and thinking a certain way. That doesn’t mean it’s the only way and it also doesn’t mean it’s the best way. In order to improve their mental health men need to understand how the way they think and feel may not be helpful to them. The world viewing men as weak if they should have any emotion is inhuman and learning to believe that it can be different for you is a big step. Working with a men’s therapist can help you understand the unique issues that you may deal with just from being a man. Once you understand your experience, we can change what you do differently in the future.
2. Anger isn’t your only emotion
Men are led to believe that anger is the only emotion they have and can express. The caveat is that they can’t show too much anger because it’s scary. This keeps men walking a fine line. There are a lot of problems with this. Anger is not your only emotion as a man. Utilizing only anger numbs and shoves away all the other emotions but they are still there. Squashing emotions might work at the moment but it will come back. Learning to express emotions besides anger is healthy, appropriate, and should be expected. Anger is not your only emotion, and it’s ok to start experiencing other emotions as well. Anger is often a secondary emotion, this means it’s covering for another emotion that might need expressing. Therapy can help you understand more about your emotions and how to express them.
3. You aren’t weak for having emotions
Men feel sadness, boredom, anger, anxiety, fear, happiness, and many other emotions. Men experience these all to varying degrees every single day. As humans, we are led to believe that feeling anything other than happiness is problematic. It’s actually healthy and normal. You are not weak because you feel things. It’s a sign that you are functioning and normal. I’m sorry that you’ve been led to believe you have to lock up your emotions. Working with a men’s therapist can help you change that negative belief you have about yourself and how you are supposed to respond to your emotions. There are healthy ways to cope and express emotions, and this is a sign of strength, not weakness. Therapy is an important part of understanding how to do this.
4. Men have a purpose beyond being a provider
Many of the men I work with have shared how much they struggle with the pressure to provide for their families. They believe their job is to be self-sacrificing and to work hard to have worth. Many man value taking care of the people they love, and they want to work hard because that’s what they value. However, the idea that they have to be in a constant state of self-sacrifice to have worth is problematic. This can lead to burnout, resentment, and symptoms of anxiety and depression. It’s ok to need other people. It’s also ok for you to have needs as well. Therapy for men can help you focus on how to meet your needs while also living your values. You can have both things. You can learn to find worth outside of just what you do, the money you make, and how you provide.
5. Your past experiences don’t have to stick with you
Everyone has painful experiences in their past that they try not to remember. These experiences can range from being traumatic to just being negative experiences. Either way, these painful experiences impact how we respond presently. You may not realize that things that were said to you as a teenager would shape how you feel about yourself. Many of the men that I have worked with served LDS missions, and didn’t feel like they could ever admit that it was hard and even traumatic. Therapy with a men’s therapist will help you be able to understand how these experiences currently impact you and how to move past them. Those experiences don’t have to define you or keep impacting your life. EMDR therapy is often a tool to help men who experience trauma or negative life experiences.
6. Shame doesn’t serve you
Shame is an emotion that many of us feel as men but don’t have words to give to it. Shame is a painful emotional experience when you believe you have done something wrong. Shame is different from guilt. Guilt is, “I did something wrong” whereas shame is, “there is something wrong with me”. Shame impacts the same part of the brain as physical pain which explains why shame is such a painful experience. Some men experience a lot of shame that they haven’t ever talked about but are just carrying with them every single day. Therapy for men can help you address shame and help you move beyond it. Shame doesn’t have to rule your life. You deserve more than that.
7. Creating healthier relationships with the people you care about
As we have discussed men are taught that emotions are good so they stuff them away. Relationships are built upon emotional connection and when you can’t share them or express them it’s hard to have healthy and meaningful connections. Therapy for men can help you create healthier relationships by helping you work on yourself. Part of working with a men’s therapist is learning to express yourself in therapy, and this skill translates to your other relationships. Therapy for men can also help you understand what has been problematic for you in the past in relationships and be able to make changes that are necessary to be better. You can also heal from the past hurts that have inevitably occurred in your relationships.
8. Your struggles actually matter
You might be a man that has been led to believe that your feelings don’t count or don’t matter. You have been led to believe not to feel anything or show any emotions Contrary to all of that your feelings, your life, and experiences matter especially your mental health. You deserve to help and you deserve to work through your past experiences. It’s ok to feel things and to feel things differently. It’s ok to be sensitive, and it’s a wonderful thing to be present in your emotions. You don’t always have to be the tough guy and keep up with the persona of trying to figure it all out on yourself. There’s nothing wrong with trying to do it alone until it becomes problematic and you push people away. Therapy for men can help you feel validated and experience empathy for your struggles. You can learn to recognize your own needs and how to meet them through working with a men’s therapist.
Marcus Hunt Therapy’s approach to Therapy for Men
It’s a big deal for you to actually take the steps to reach out for help. I understand how difficult it is and am honored that you would be willing to do it. I know it’s not easy to admit that you need help, especially for a guy. My goal for working with you as a man is to help you stop feeling so much shame and to feel real confidence in yourself. Through weekly therapy sessions, you will be able to manage your emotions in healthy ways and in turn be more open about your emotions with your relationships. Improving relationships with family, friends, children, or a significant other can make a huge difference. Being vulnerable is hard and is a skill to learn but I want to be able to provide a space for you to practice this and it is respected. There are plenty of awkward topics that come up in therapy but I want to be real with you and approach you with kindness. It’s ok to talk about anything.
Begin working with a men’s therapist in Utah
You don’t have to keep struggling and holding it all in because you are supposed to be strong. You can find relief from what you struggle with. Therapy for men can help. This Utah Counseling Clinic has a men’s therapist specializing in therapy for men. To begin counseling follow the steps below:
Meet with a men’s therapist in Utah
Begin therapy for men
Online Therapy in Utah
I know it’s not easy to make time around your work schedule and your family and friends to attend therapy. I realize therapy isn’t convenient all the time, and it can be even more of a reason to put it off. I know how valuable therapy is and how much it can change your life. I can’t give you more time but I can make therapy more accessible for you. This is why I offer online therapy in Utah. It’s just as effective as in-person therapy without the hassle.
Online counseling allows me to work with you wherever you are in Utah. I work with men in St. George, Cedar City, Logan, Heber, Salt Lake City, and more.
Other Mental Health Services at Marcus Hunt Therapy
Therapy for men isn’t the only mental health service this Utah Counseling Practice provides. Other mental health services offered by Marcus Hunt Therapy include EMDR therapy, PTSD treatment, marriage counseling, LDS marriage counseling, premarital counseling, depression therapy, and anxiety therapy.
About the Author
Marcus Hunt is an associate marriage and family therapist at Marcus Hunt Therapy in Utah. He went to Utah Valley University and received his bachelor of science in behavioral science. Marcus also has a master's degree in marriage and family therapy He enjoys providing therapy for men who don’t necessarily fit the Utah mold. These men are trying hard to be good people but maybe they don’t check all the boxes like others around them. Marcus believes men’s mental health is often ignored and is on a mission to help more men find relief from their mental health issues. Outside of therapy, Marcus enjoys gaming and exploring parts of Utah County he hasn’t experienced before.