3 Things I Wish Every Couple Knew
I spent a lot of years in school and spent a lot of money learning about relationships and what makes a marriage work. I want to be able to share what I have spent a long time learning in an effort to save couples' heartache. When you are in a relationship it’s not always easy to be able to see how you interact or the way you communicate is problematic. You get into a groove and soon the way you respond to each other is normal to you. From an outside perspective, just because it’s normal doesn’t mean it’s working for your relationship. There is so much I want to share with you but I want here some of the main points that matter.
What I wish Every Couple Knew
Expect more blog posts on this topic because it’s important, and I want you to know everything there is about how to make your marriage work. Here are some areas to start with.
1. Having the right relationship skills can make a huge difference
Relationship skills are the skills you need to have a happy, healthy, and meaningful relationship. Honestly, most people don’t naturally have all of the skills necessary to do this. The couples I work with often have relationship skills modeled by their parents who bring some good skills but other not as helpful skills. I wish every couple would learn proper communication skills and work on them together. Every couple goes to couples counseling for different reasons but going to work with a marriage counselor isn’t for people that are about to end their marriage. It’s for people that want to have better relationships and don’t realize they are lacking in relationship skills.
2. Talking about your feelings together is essential
Sharing your feelings with each other is always going to be important in a relationship. Men are often the ones that tend to be closed off or withdraw in a relationship. It’s hard for men to be tuned into their own emotions and to share them because that’s not what society has taught them to do. However, in order for a relationship to thrive this is something both partners need to learn to do. The cycle of stuffing down emotions until you blow up or until your snap at your partner is not a healthy pattern to fall into. Learning to be able to be comfortable with your own emotions and share them with your partner will help you bond as a couple and build trust.
3. No matter how long you’ve been in the relationship it can also improve
It doesn’t matter if you aren’t even married or if you’ve been married for 50 years, it’s not too soon or too late to work on your marriage. There are things in your relationship regardless of how long it’s been established or the patterns that you’ve fallen into that can be improved. Nobody including myself has and is utilizing everything they can in making their marriage better. If both of you are committed to working on your relationship and want it to be better, you’ll be surprised at what you can learn and implement that makes your relationship the best it’s ever been.
Marriage counseling isn’t a last resort
The most important thing I wish everyone knew about marriage counseling is that there’s no reason to wait until a problem arises or you are on your way to ending your marriage. I’m going to be honest, these aren’t the type of couples I like to work with. I enjoy working with couples who want to understand each other better and are willing to take risks to make their relationship better. Trust me there are so many benefits to marriage counseling that aren’t about preventing a divorce. Marriage counseling isn’t for everyone else, it’s for you too.
Marriage Counseling can help your relationship
I wish we could wipe away the stigma that if you are going to therapy or couples counseling then there must be something wrong with you or your relationship. Marriage counseling is for people that value their relationship above anything else and want to do whatever it takes to make it fulfilling. You will learn so many skills in marriage counseling to improve your marriage. You don’t have to just expect to cohabitate with your partner until they just feel like a roommate. Marriage counseling can help you develop more closeness than you’ve had before.
Start Online Marriage Counseling in Utah
You can have the type of relationship you want. You can feel heard and understood by your partner and marriage counseling can help. This Utah Counseling Practice has a marriage therapist specializing in marriage counseling. To begin therapy follow the steps below:
Meet with a marriage counselor
Begin working on your relationship
Other Mental Health Services Provided by Marcus Hunt Therapy
Marriage counseling isn’t the only counseling service provided at this Utah Counseling Clinic. Other mental health services provided by Marcus Hunt Therapy include premarital counseling, LDS marriage counseling, EMDR therapy, PTSD treatment, counseling for anxiety, and ADHD treatment. Schedule a free 15-minute phone consultation to see how I can help.
About the Author
Marcus Hunt is a marriage and family therapist at Marcus Hunt Therapy in Utah. Marcus has a master's degree in marriage and family therapy. He also holds a bachelors in behavioral science from Utah Valley University. Marcus loves working with couples and helping them learn how to improve their relationships. He knows that it doesn’t always come naturally to know how to communicate in a relationship and wants to empower couples with the skills they need to succeed. Marcus loves using an emotion-focused therapy approach to helping couples thrive.