How to Have a Successful Relationship as a Man with ADHD: Thoughts from an ADHD Therapist in Provo, Utah
Being a man with ADHD presents unique challenges to navigate and work through. There are also many myths and misunderstandings about ADHD. One of the challenges that you might experience as a man with ADHD is how to have a healthy and successful relationship. Having ADHD does not at all mean you can’t have healthy relationships. Part of having ADHD means knowing the areas that you might struggle with and how to work through them. Men with ADHD might be more prone to struggling with communication difficulties forgetfulness, managing their emotions, making impulsive decisions, and hyperfocus.
ADHD Men in Relationships
ADHD can have an impact on relationships. Men with ADHD might struggle in relationships for unique reasons. Having ADHD means having heightened emotional responses to stimuli and struggling to be able to manage reactions. This doesn’t mean that these skills can’t be learned, practiced, or improved upon but naturally, this is where ADHD causes a struggle. Men with ADHD might forget important dates, appointments, or other things that can be painful to their partner. ADHD can coincide with other mental health issues such as anxiety, depression, and trauma which further complicate how those with ADHD manage their relationships.
What do men with ADHD need from a partner?
Just like everyone, men with ADHD have unique needs when it comes to relationships. Understanding how to support a partner with ADHD has different challenges. Men with ADHD need understanding and patience from a partner. These men often struggle with being kind and compassionate with themselves and the way their brain works. It can negatively impact their self-esteem. When it comes to relationships, men with ADHD are prone to struggle with communication issues. Having ADHD means you need more time and space to be able to process things. When it comes to having discussions or disagreements, it might seem like they don’t care because they aren’t responding. However, ADHD impacts a man’s executive functioning, and as a partner, it’s important to be aware of this. When it comes to communication, a man with ADHD needs clear communication. If you are in a relationship with someone with ADHD, communicating your expectations clearly, and giving them feedback that is direct and not passive-aggressive can be helpful.
How does ADHD affect relationships?
Every man that has ADHD will have unique challenges when it comes to relationships. Not everyone struggles in the same way but these are some of the common ways ADHD impacts relationships:
Communication difficulties:
Men with ADHD struggle to know how to communicate and express thoughts and emotions clearly.
Impulsivity:
Men with ADHD might make impulsive decisions without considering the consequences.
Hyperfocus:
A classic symptom of ADHD is hyper-focusing on activities and interests which consequently can involve not giving proper attention to a partner.
Forgetfulness:
ADHD impacts the brain's ability to retain information so having ADHD means forgetting important dates and information.
Emotional Control:
Having ADHD often presents with having a difficult time coping with and managing emotions.
These are all areas that people with ADHD can struggle with and in turn, leads to difficulties in relationship. These impacts on a relationship can be improved and managed much better through professional help. There is reason to have hope in having a relationship while also having ADHD. If you can understand the areas of struggle you can know how to focus and improve upon them.
Can ADHD cause relationship problems?
Just like any mental health issue, ADHD may result in relationship problems. Having ADHD doesn’t ensure there will be relationship failure but being aware of the potential pitfalls can lead to relationship success. As mentioned, a common issue with ADHD is impulsivity. In relationships, men with ADHD can demonstrate impulsivity in different ways such as sexual impulsivity, risk-taking behaviors, over-committing, and spending money impulsivity. Another area that could be a struggle in relationships is the difficulty in regulating emotions. When it comes to a relationship, a man with ADHD might be more sensitive to criticism and might lash out. Men have a difficult time in our society with emotional expression as our society has taught men that they stifle emotions because emotions make you weak. On top of society’s message about emotions, men with ADHD have even more difficulty processing and communicating emotions well.
What to expect dating a man with ADHD?
Dating a man with ADHD comes with some amazing benefits, and just like anyone else, it comes with unique challenges. Some of the benefits include dating someone with creativity. Men with ADHD are more prone to be creative and inventive making for a fun and enjoyable experience. They also can be spontaneous and bring about adventure and excitement. Men with ADHD can also be passionate. Dating a man with ADHD can involve experiencing more passion and interest bringing about more meaningful shared experiences. ADHD men can also be loyal. This means they are committed and loyal to their partners. Once they connect with someone this can lead to strong and committed relationships.
Some of the challenges that can be expected when dating a man with ADHD are communication difficulties as discussed before. Their communication issues can lead to frustration and misunderstanding in relationships. Another challenge includes struggles with managing time and organization. This can lead to lateness and missed dates. It can also lead to frustration with a lack of organization. Impulsive behaviors are also an issue in dating someone with ADHD. When dating a man with ADHD you might find when they engage in impulsive behaviors it’s frustrating and unpredictable. This can lead to changing plants last minute or making commitments without enough time to plan or prepare.
How can men with ADHD have successful relationships?
The most important message in regard to this article is that men with ADHD can and do have successful relationships all the time. They and their partners can have some of the most wonderful and fulfilling relationships. The important aspect of being able to have successful relationships are knowing how to manage them effectively. Here are some steps to take to have successful relationships was a man with ADHD:
Learn how to communicate effectively
An essential part of any relationship is to learn effective communication skills. Especially when it comes to ADHD, using strategies to express yourself effectively is important. Being present and mindful in communicating with your partner can improve your relationship. When communicating do so without distractions. Don’t multitask while having an important conversation. Practice using active listening skills. Be clear and concise when you speak. You can prepare beforehand if possible so you have more of a chance to organize your thoughts. Try to be patient with yourself and your partner. Recognize you need extra time to process information and share that with your partner.
2. Use ADHD coping skills
Using the right coping skills to manage your ADHD can lead to potential relationship success. Make sure you have friends and family you can utilize and reach out to for support. You need a place to be able to share your difficulties and receive validation. Practicing mindfulness skills such as meditation can help you feel calmer and handle yourself effectively in situations. Exercise is another coping skill that can lead to improved concentration, improved mood, and helping with reducing impulsivity. Medication can also be a helpful tool to manage ADHD symptoms. Working with a provider to find the right dosage and medication for you can improve your overall ability to function.
3. Utilize self-care
Having ADHD is a difficult experience. It can impact your self-esteem and the beliefs you have about yourself. Learning how to manage ADHD in a world that doesn’t always cater to the way your brain works is stressful. Setting aside deliberate time to engage in activities, interests, and hobbies that you enjoy as a form of self-care can improve your overall mental health. Using self-care intentionally rather than something to distract you is key. Getting enough sleep is important in helping you your ability to concentrate and perform tasks more effectively. Remember utilizing self-care can yield positive results and help you show up in your relationships the way you want to.
4. See a therapist for ADHD in Utah
Attending weekly therapy with a therapist that specializes in ADHD can provide you with education and information to understand ADHD better. Understanding your ADHD better also leads to more effective ways of coping and dealing with ADHD and its symptoms of ADHD. Working with an ADHD therapist in Utah can help you develop organization skills and ways to deal with inattention and hyperactivity. Going to therapy can also help you manage the other mental health conditions you may experience such as anxiety, depression, and traumatic experiences. You can also learn to be able to manage your relationships and create healthy and meaningful interactions with your partner.
5. Time management and organization
Time management skills are critical to coping effectively. Using a planner or calendar to able to break down tasks, and remember important dates and obligations can help manage your time well. Learn to break down tasks into more small and manageable goals and focus on completing the smaller tasks first. Using alarms and reminders to help you make appointments and deadlines can help with forgetfulness. Set aside a designated workspace in your home to be able to work or study without distractions.
Working with ADHD Therapist in Utah can lead to having healthy relationships
There are so many benefits to working with an ADHD Therapist. As someone who has a degree in marriage and family therapy, I have specialized training and expertise in creating and developing successful relationships. I also happen to have ADHD myself along with formal education on understanding ADHD I am able to help clients create and maintain positive relationships despite having ADHD. Attending therapy can help you learn communication skills and how to work through conflict and difficulties with your partner.
Start online ADHD Treatment in Utah
You don’t have to try and figure out how to manage your ADHD alone. You can have successful relationships and feel confident in your ability to show up for your partner in the way you want to. This Utah Counseling Practice has an ADHD therapist specializing in ADHD treatment. To begin counseling follow the steps below:
Meet with a therapist for ADHD
Begin managing your ADHD more effectively.
Other mental health services provided by Marcus Hunt Therapy
ADHD treatment isn’t the only mental health service provided at this Utah Counseling Clinic. Other mental health services by Marcus Hunt Therapy include EMDR therapy, PTSD treatment, therapy for men, marriage counseling, depression therapy, premarital counseling, and more.
All mental health services are offered through online therapy in Utah. This means I help clients all over Utah including St. George, Cedar City, Provo, Logan, Heber City, Salt Lake City, and Logan, Utah. Reach out today to see how I can help.
About the Author
Marcus Hunt AMFT is a marriage and family therapist at Marcus Hunt Therapy near Provo, Utah. He has a master's degree in marriage and family therapy. He also has a bachelor's degree in behavioral sciences. Marcus loves working with men and helping them be able to manage their ADHD. As someone who has ADHD himself, Marcus knows the unique challenges they present. He understands personally and with his education how to help those who might be struggling with ADHD.