How To Support a Partner Who Has ADHD
Being married or in a relationship with someone with Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder (ADHD) can present unique challenges. It also has unique advantages and rewards to being in this type of relationship. It can be difficult to know how to navigate these unique challenges. There are plenty of myths about ADHD but once you have a greater understanding of what ADHD really is, you can learn how to effectively manage your relationship.
What’s it like being in a relationship with someone with ADHD?
ADHD can impact a relationship. If you are in a relationship with someone with ADHD you might have experiences where your partner might hyperfocus on something. Hyperfocus is a common symptom of ADHD and involves being deeply focused on certain tasks or activities that they enjoy or find interesting. When it comes to work and hobbies, this can be a positive trait and can be helpful. It can also be challenging when there is work or other responsibilities that need to be completed.
Forgetfulness is another struggle when it comes to ADHD. If you are in a relationship with a person with ADHD you can expect that they are going to struggle at times to remember things. This doesn’t mean they don’t care about you or what you’ve shared. People with ADHD need to reminders to be able to complete activities, tasks, and appointments. The reason people with ADHD tend to be forgetful is that it impacts the part of their brain that is responsible for attention and memory.
You may have also noticed that your partner with ADHD tends to make impulse decisions. They might act quickly on their emotions without thinking through the consequences and how they will impact them and others. Sometimes people with ADHD spend money impulsively or interrupt and talk over you. Struggling with ADHD means having a difficult time controlling urges to speak, and it can be difficult to feel heard or understood.
Creativity is a wonderful quality that many people with ADHD have. They provide a unique perspective and contribute ideas that you may not have even considered. You might notice your partner thinks outside the box. Because of their hyperfocus, they can sustain longer attention to a creative project. People with ADHD have heightened sensitivity to sensory stimuli so they have a different appreciation for music, art, and other literature.
How do I support my partner who has ADHD?
You can have a healthy and lasting relationship with someone who has ADHD. Once you know how to navigate the unique challenges that it might bring to a relationship you can thrive. Here are some suggestions on how to support your partner with ADHD.
Educate yourself about ADHD
Learning to understand ADHD and how it impacts your partner’s brain can be a huge help. The more you seek out reliable resources on ADHD the more you will have compassion and understanding for why your partner responds the way they do. This will give you so much insight into their behaviors and help you understand how their reactions are related to ADHD not because they are trying to make life difficult or annoy you.
Practice Patience
Likely your partner already struggles to be patient and accepting of themselves with the issues they struggle with when it comes to ADHD. Being patient will help your partner feel understood and supported. Those with ADHD struggle with being sensitive to criticism and because of this will benefit from you having patience with them and their behaviors. ADHD can be managed but it takes to support and help from professionals and from loved ones.
Communicate effectively
Communication can make a lot of difference when it comes to your partner with ADHD. In order to communicate clearly it is helpful to minimize distractions. Having ADHD means a significant struggle with distractibility. Use clear and concise language when speaking Try to avoid any complicated explanations because your partner will lose their focus. Wait until your partner is done doing what they are doing so you aren’t trying to communicate with them while they are multitasking.
Create structure
Those with ADHD rely on structure for them to be successful. By creating structure in your relationship and in your household you are helping your ADHD partner more than you realize. Establishing daily routines for household responsibilities, meals, and morning and bedtime routines can help someone with ADHD respond better because of predictability and consistency. The structure also helps to set expectations for someone with ADHD and they are able to focus on the tasks they need to.
Reinforce Success
Positive reinforcement is a powerful tool for those with ADHD. Your partner may struggle with their self-esteem and negative beliefs about themselves because of their ADHD. Give specific praise on what you’ve seen them do well and the progress they’ve made. If possible people with ADHD benefit from immediate positive reinforcement after they’ve done something well. Be genuine and sincere when praising and complimenting your loved one.
Encourage ADHD treatment
Telling someone to go to therapy can be a sensitive topic to address in a relationship and especially when it comes to ADHD. ADHD is incredibly difficult to manage without the right tools and that’s what many people with ADHD have been trying to do. Avoid blaming your partner when encouraging your partner to go to therapy. This will result in feeling criticized and rejected. Show that you are coming from a place of love and care rather than blame and anger. It might also be helpful to help your partner find someone that specializes in ADHD treatment because they might feel overwhelmed by the process.
Seek your own support
Going to therapy on your own can be helpful to you in supporting your partner in their ADHD. Therapy can better help you understand ADHD and how it impacts your relationship with your partner. Counseling can help you address relationship issues and to develop coping skills to prioritize your own mental health. It can be stressful being in a relationship with someone who has ADHD, and going to therapy can help you prioritize self-care.
Online ADHD treatment in Utah can make the difference
Online ADHD treatment can help you learn to cope with ADHD and navigate the negative beliefs you might be experiencing. Offering online therapy in Utah can make it easier for you to not have to manage time or travel to a therapist’s office to get help for your ADHD. Online ADHD therapy can offer you specialized treatment from someone that knows exactly how to help you. You can learn to cope with ADHD symptoms in a healthy way so it doesn’t impact your ability to function in daily tasks.
Marriage counseling near Provo, Utah can help you overcome ADHD relationship obstacles
Considering going to marriage counseling is a personal decision. Experiencing ADHD-related challenges in a relationship can be difficult. Marriage counseling can be helpful in addressing these ADHD-related challenges by helping you learn to communicate effectively. Impulsivity, forgetfulness, and difficulty focusing are ADHD symptoms that can impact the relationship. Marriage counseling can help you learn the skills and tools to work together as a couple without resorting to exploding with anger and withdrawal.
Start Online ADHD treatment in Utah today
You can learn to manage your ADHD more effectively. You can overcome the negative beliefs you have about yourself and online ADHD treatment can help. This Utah Counseling Center has an ADHD therapist specializing in ADHD treatment. To begin therapy follow the steps below:
Meet with a therapist for ADHD
Begin managing your ADHD symptoms better
Other Mental Health Services offered by Marcus Hunt Therapy
ADHD treatment isn’t the only counseling service offered at this Utah Counseling Practice. Other mental health services provided by Marcus Hunt Therapy include therapy for men, premarital counseling, marriage counseling, EMDR therapy, depression therapy, PTSD treatment, LDS marriage counseling, and more.
About the Author
Marcus Hunt is a marriage and family therapist at Marcus Hunt Therapy near Provo, Utah. Marcus has a bachelor's degree in behavioral sciences from Utah Valley University. He also holds a master's degree in marriage and family therapy. Marcus loves helping men improve their relationships and marriages. He understands how having ADHD can present unique challenges not only individually but in interpersonal relationships. Marcus loves helping couples learn to communicate and understand their relationship from a different perspective.