Couples and Marriage Counseling in Utah
You never thought your relationship would feel like this.
On your wedding day, you never thought you would ever be in this place in your marriage. You didn’t anticipate ever feeling misunderstood and lonely with your partner. You have been through a lot together, and you wouldn’t want to go through it with anyone else, but the heartache and loss have caused you to drift apart. It’s easy to get distracted by raising kids, work, church, or other responsibilities and ignore any relationship problems.
Either way, it’s hard to know how to talk to each other sometimes. There’s love and trust, but time has made things a little harder. It could be that you both have changed over time but what you do know is you want to be able to express yourself without shutting down or being overwhelmed.
Your marriage is your most important relationship, so it's painful that you don’t feel as close to your spouse as you used. You just want to be close again, both physically and emotionally. You miss that spark and want to feel how you felt on your wedding day. You want to have fun together like you used to. Your love is deeper and more refined now, but you also miss feeling the butterflies, the flirting, and the playfulness.
What are the common issues that bring couples to couples therapy?
Every couple has a different reason for coming into couples therapy. Something has happened that is impacting the trust, safety, or communication in the relationship. These are common issues I see couples coming to couples therapy for:
Grief and loss
Communication issues
Lack of trust
PTSD/ Trauma
Loss of a child
Death of a family member or loved one
Infertility and miscarriage
Unemployment or job loss
Serious illness or injury of a loved one
What are the reasons for going to marriage counseling?
Every couple decides to go to couples therapy for different reasons. If you want to improve your marriage and grow closer as a couple, working with a couples therapist can help. There are common themes that bring couples into therapy and these are some of the goals couples have.
Maintaining a healthy marriage
There is no perfect marriage. Even healthy marriages can be strengthened and improved. Raising children, and experiencing grief and loss can disconnect you from the person you love the most. Strengthening your already healthy marriage by helping prevent future issues by addressing areas of vulnerability in the relationship is valuable. Every couple has blind spots or things they might not realize that having an outside perspective of a marriage therapist can make it better.
Improving communication in a marriage
Marriage counseling can help couples learn new skills and ways of communicating with each other so they feel safe and understood. A marriage counselor can help create a safe for both partners to express themselves and encourage openness in expressing needs and concerns in the marriage. Couples can learn active listening skills, how to create emotional intimacy, build greater trust with one another, learn to validate and express emotions, build empathy and understanding, conflict resolution skills, and more with the help of a couples therapist.
Saving your marriage
When a marriage is struggling, working with a marriage therapist can help as long as both you and your spouse are committed to doing the work it takes to improve. It’s so important to recognize it’s not just your spouse that needs to do changing, you also need to make changes. Going into marriage counseling knowing that if you want to save your marriage you also will have to dig deep and make improvements to how you communicate and show up for your spouse. Marriage counseling can help you identify and address underlying issues and work at getting to the root of them. A marriage counselor can help you uncover some of the deep-seated issues and unmet needs in a struggling marriage. You and your spouse can learn to trust each other again and learn to talk to one another without feeling deeply hurt. If you are willing to do whatever it takes, marriage counseling can help.
Your marriage can be what you want it to be, and working with a couples therapist in Utah can help.
I know on your wedding day when you looked into your spouse's eyes, you weren’t thinking about all the heartache and loss you would experience together. You weren’t thinking about how all this would change your relationship and how you communicate. You were thinking about the good stuff to come. You were thinking about how much you love your significant other and couldn’t wait to grow together.
Most of my clients share feeling disconnected in their relationship to some degree. They struggle to balance the priorities of their marriage with parenting and the demands of their jobs.
Marriage Counseling might be for you if:
You continue to struggle with the same issues as a couple
You want to improve your relationship
You feel lonely or hurt in your marriage
Grief and loss have impacted your relationship
Resentment and hurt are starting to surface
There are many reasons for marriage counseling. The couples I work with might feel like they shouldn’t need to reach out for help. They might believe their faith and spiritual beliefs should be sufficient to sustain a healthy relationship. My clients worry if they reach out for help in their marriage, they must not be doing enough. They also worry that their problems are too big to be solved, and some might worry that their problems are too minor for marriage counseling. You may also have seen your parents struggle with similar issues as you are and never resolve them, so it’s difficult to hope your marriage could be any different.
I really want you to know it’s ok for you to reach out for help. Marriage counseling can be a powerful tool, and it’s for everyone at some point in their marriage. Reaching out for help shows dedication and commitment to the relationship. It doesn’t mean you don’t have enough faith if you’re struggling. I am sure your parents did their best in their marriage, but that doesn’t mean there aren’t other solutions and options.
Marcus Hunt Therapy’s Approach to Couples and Marriage Counseling in Utah
My goal for my clients is to help them work through the things holding them back from having the type of relationship you want AND help you create one that is realistic. Marriage counseling isn’t:
Just for one partner to participate and do the work
Isn’t for taking sides or blaming anyone
A sign that divorce is inevitable
A sign that your relationship is too far gone
Marriage counseling can be a rewarding and healing experience. It can be about repair and rebuilding. This type of therapy takes vulnerability and courage, and it will require humility and learning new skills.
To begin, we will meet for an intake session where I will get a sense of your needs and goals as a couple. I am excited to help clients who are ready and willing to dig in and do the work. I love working with couples that are committed to doing whatever it takes to have a happy and healthy relationship. What we work on in therapy is completely confidential and is a big part of why I don’t take insurance. The pace of therapy and what you want to work on are completely up to you. I’m here to gently challenge you to look at things differently and see things you may not have noticed before. I’m committed to giving you the tools you need to have a lasting and fulfilling relationship.
What’s stopping you from beginning marriage counseling in Utah?
Many of the couples I work with tell me they wish they had come to marriage counseling sooner. You may think marriage counseling is only for those who are crossing over into divorce territory. Attending marriage counseling may also make you feel like you’ve failed and your relationship is doomed, so you put off seeking therapy. The truth is, I wish couples would come to marriage counseling much sooner than they do. Marriage counseling doesn’t mean your marriage is circling the drain. It means the opposite. It is a sign of strength and commitment to your relationship.
Online Marriage Counseling in Utah
You may also be putting off starting marriage counseling because you don’t have the time. I offer marriage counseling through online therapy in Utah, saving you the time to drive and find someone to watch your kids. Online Therapy is equally as effective as in-person counseling. Online therapy also means that I can still work with you if you are located in St. George, Logan, or Cedar City.
Ready to begin marriage counseling in Utah?
You don’t have to live feeling disconnected from your partner. You can reignite the spark and fall back in love again. This Utah Counseling Center has a couples therapist that can help you get it back.
Complete online forms and book a first session
Begin connecting again with the help of a relationship expert
Other Mental Health Services Provided by Marcus Hunt Therapy
Couples and marriage counseling isn’t the only counseling service I provide in this Utah Counseling Clinic. Other mental health services Marcus Hunt Therapy provides include anxiety treatment, Marriage Counseling for LDS Couples, Premarital counseling, PTSD treatment, EMDR and trauma therapy, and therapy for men.
Do I have to be married to attend couples counseling?
No, you do not have to be married to attend couples counseling. Couples counseling, facilitated by a couples therapist is open to any couple who are in a committed relationship, regardless of their marital status. Couples counseling can be beneficial for couples who are dating, engaged, living together, married, or in any other type of partnership. The goal of couples counseling is to help improve your relationship, enhance communication, resolve conflicts, and strengthen the overall bond between you and your partner. Whether you are married or not, if you and your partner are facing difficulties in your relationship, couples counseling can be a helpful resource.
How does marriage counseling work?
Marriage counseling, or couples therapy, is an opportunity for couples who are willing to do whatever it takes to strengthen their relationship and work through challenges with the help of a couples therapist. The way relationship counseling typically works is spending the first session getting to know one another and your relationship. My job is to listen as you share your concerns and goals for the relationship. This helps me understand your specific needs and goals as a couple. I want to make sure you feel safe and comfortable to be open about your issues and struggles and know I'm not judging you. The next step is beginning to work on whatever the difficulties are in your relationship. Whether it's communication problems, trust, grief and loss that has pushed you apart, parenting, or other things, we will learn to talk about this together. You will develop new skills in marriage counseling that you'll be asked to practice with one another during the week outside of therapy sessions. These skills will help you learn to talk to each other without feeling misunderstood and lonely after. Marriage counseling will help you work through past experiences that may be hurting you all while being facilitated by a couples therapist with the knowledge and education to help you achieve your goals.
Is couples therapy effective?
Yes, marriage counseling is highly effective in helping couples improve their relationship and heal from past hurt. There have been numerous studies and research have shown positive outcomes for couples who engage in marriage counseling. However, it's important to know that the effectiveness of counseling is heavily impacted by the willingness of both partners to actively participate. At times couples believe it's my job as the couples therapist to do the work and fix the relationship. I am here to provide perspective, give you skills and education, and help you work through issues but it will be up to you to do the work outside of therapy. This is what really counts.
What is the success rate of marriage counseling?
What makes marriage counseling successful depends on several different factors. It depends on the specific issue a couple is struggling with and the commitment that each partner has to the relationship. Research has shown that marriage counseling with the use of emotionally focused therapy provides a 75-90 percent success rate. It is also important to note what the definition of success is when coming into couples counseling. Marriage counseling success isn’t just about staying married. It’s about having a healthy relationship where both partners feel satisfied and view the relationship as safe and healthy.
What type of therapy is most commonly used in relationship counseling?
One of the most well-researched types of marriage counseling is emotionally focused therapy (EFT). This is the type of therapy I use in working with couples because it helps couples focus on their emotions and how it connects partners to one another. Understanding and sharing your feelings deepen the connection you have with your partner. You might not know how to communicate your feelings with each other but EFT can help. EFT also focuses on ways to resolve conflicts in a relationship and to address the negative patterns you as a couple get into that might be causing problems. EFT will also help you communicate in much more effective ways. Overall, this type of marriage counseling has been shown to have positive results and couples walk away with a much higher relationship satisfaction.
What not to say in marriage counseling?
In order for marriage counseling to be productive, it’s essential that both partners contribute to creating a safe environment to work through issues. Things not to say or do in marriage counseling are first to never use name-calling. Name-calling is attacking and will put your partner on the defense. Blaming and accusing are also unhelpful approaches to improving and healing your relationship. Shutting down or refusing to engage in the process will keep you stuck in the negative patterns in the relationship and you will not see marriage counseling to be effective. Lastly invalidating or denying your partner’s feelings or issues that they bring up is not something to do in marriage counseling. Working with a marriage counselor is most helpful when you are both open and willing to take responsibility for your contribution to the relationship and to work hard to make the necessary changes to improve.
Will marriage counseling save my marriage?
The answer to that question depends on several factors. Simply attending marriage counseling once a week with a marriage counselor is not enough to save your marriage. Couples counseling is not a quick process because it takes time to work on developing the skills necessary to improve it. The ability of marriage counseling to save your marriage will depend on the specific issues leading to your relationship struggling, and the amount of effort and commitment that you and your significant other are willing to put into improving your relationship. Marriage counseling provides the environment for a marriage therapist and the couple to work on resolving conflict, enhancing communication skills, and working through specific issues. If you and your significant other are willing to do whatever it takes to have a better marriage you have a greater chance of saving your marriage.
Is marriage counseling worth it?
Marriage counseling is worth it if you are ready to actively engage in the process of therapy, and are willing to be open to both your spouse and the marriage therapist. Couples therapy is highly beneficial and effective for couples who are committed to the process and their relationship. Marriage counseling can help you heal wounds in your relationship that have been impacting your relationship. Marriage therapy can help you feel more connected to your spouse than ever before. However, marriage therapy isn’t a magic spell that the couples therapist performs. It will actually all be up to you and what you are willing to invest into the process if you want it to be worth it.
What is a common reason couples counseling fails?
While marriage counseling can be highly beneficial for many couples, there are instances where it may not achieve the desired outcomes. The number one reason I see marriage counseling fail is when both partners are not committed to couples therapy and aren’t willing to put in the work. They may think it’s their partner’s or the couples therapist's job to do the majority of the work. The reality is it takes both partners in the relationship to be able to make changes in marriage. A lack of commitment to couples therapy leads to missing therapy appointments and not following through on assignments outside of sessions is another reason couples therapy fails. Couples coming into marriage therapy hoping for a quick fix and having unrealistic expectations about what therapy entails lead to disappointment and feelings of failure when immediate results are not achieved.
How often should you attend marriage counseling?
I recommend clients attend weekly couples counseling sessions for at least six months. I cannot give a standard time frame for everyone because I don’t know your situation or the issues that are bringing you in for therapy. I generally ask clients to commit to couples therapy for six months. This allows you to see progress in your relationship and have more hope that you can improve together. It’s possible that marriage counseling will take longer than this.
When is it too late for marriage counseling?
It's never too late to consider marriage counseling as long as both partners are willing to engage in therapy. However, there are scenarios where the effectiveness of counseling may be limited and a different approach may be more helpful. Things such as ongoing abuse, one partner's refusal to participate, and irreparable trust issues, This is why the free 15-minute phone consultation can be helpful in determining if marriage counseling is the best option for you.
What are the disadvantages of couples therapy?
Marriage counseling has some potential disadvantages to consider. These include the lack of immediate results, uncomfortable emotional experiences, inconsistent follow-through from both partners, and the possibility of unresolved individual issues impacting the effectiveness of couples therapy. However, open communication, realistic expectations, and a commitment to couples therapy can help mitigate these challenges. Being open and honest with both your partner and the couples therapist is key to addressing any concerns that may arise during couples counseling.
Start working with a marriage therapist in Utah today
If you’re ready to have a marriage where you feel connected, safe, and secure with your spouse, marriage counseling is for you. Schedule a free 15-minute phone consultation to start working with a marriage therapist.